In a culture that celebrates man, we are sold a brutal lie. It is dominating our children’s entertainment and taken root in the millennial generation. It is a cornerstone of our education. It seems sweet as honey, yet in the end leads to bitterness.
This lie is that your heart is generally good and worth following wherever it may lead.
Jeremiah 17:5-9 tells us a story that counters this lie to it’s wicked face. Please go read the text for yourself, but in my own words, Jeremiah is telling us;
Anyone who trusts his own view of reality is cursed, they are like a withering shrub in the salt lands. But anyone who trusts God’s view of reality is blessed, they are like a healthy tree planted by a stream. Don’t trust your heart, it is desperately wicked.
1. It’s not bad to want to have sex with your significant other. It’d be another sort of worry if you didn’t. The key is to want to glorify Christ more than you want to have sex with each other.
2. The key to glorifying Christ more than you want to have sex with each other is that it is a decision to be made over and over again.
3. Persons in a dating or courting relationship are on their best behavior. So however they are now, you can expect, over time, for them to get “worse.” As familiarity grows, people let their guards down. Marriage does not fix bad behavior; it often gives it freer reign. Ladies, this means if your boyfriend is controlling, suspicious, verbally condescending or manipulative, he will get worse, not better the longer your relationship goes on. Whatever you are making excuses for or overlooking now, will get harder to ignore and more prominent the longer your relationship goes on. You can’t fix him, and marriage won’t straighten him out.
4. Nearly every Christian I know who is married to an unbeliever loves their spouse and does not necessarily regret marrying them, but has experienced deep pain and discontent in their marriage because of this unequal yoking and would now never advise a believer to marry an unbeliever.
5. Assuming you’re special and you’re different and their experiences won’t reflect yours is shortsighted, unwise, and arrogant. The people who love you and are warning/advising you against your relationship might be ignorant fools. Those sorts of people do exist. But odds are better that your parents, your pastor, your older married friends are wiser than you think.
7. Premarital sex de-incentivizes a young man to grow up, take responsibility, and lead his home and family.
8. Pre-marital sex wounds a young woman’s heart, perhaps imperceptibly at first but undeniably over time, as she trades in covenant benefits without covenant security. This is not the way God designed sex to fulfill us. Never give your body to a man who has not pledged to God his faithfulness to you in covenant marriage, which presupposes an accountability to a local church. In short, don’t give your heart to a man who is not accountable to anybody who provides godly discipline.
9. All of your relationships, including your romantic relationship, is meant to make Jesus look big more than it is meant to provide you personal fulfillment. When we make personal fulfillment our ultimate priority in our relationships, ironically enough, we find ourselves frustratingly unfulfilled.
10. You are loved by God with abundant grace in Christ’s atoning work, and an embrace of this love by faith in Jesus provides Holy Spiritual power and satisfaction to pursue relationships that honor God and thereby maximize your joy.
This awesome article was written by Jarred Wilson and published through The Gospel Coalition at This Link. I pray it help you think biblically about your dating relationships leading to a godly marriage.
As we have all been aware of President Obama’s recent endorsement of legalizing same-sex marriage, we may not all be aware of the implications of such an action will have on all of us, even those who oppose it. I’ve already read many versions of “if you don’t like it, then don’t do it”.
Psychologytoday.com posted this article defending gay marriage and ended with this quote:
From my perspective, it comes down to common sense. If it helps some people and it doesn’t hurt anyone, why not let in happen. I think the comedian Wanda Sykes put it best, “It’s real simple. If you don’t believe in same-sex marriage, don’t marry someone of the same sex.” In other words, why not allow gay marriage?
Why not? There are many negative implications that must be considered! Marriage is the foundational institution of our nation. To redefine it changes the foundation and thus the trajectory we are headed as a nation. Marriage was instituted first by God himself, before sin came into the world, and defined as one man and one woman. To redefine that is to reject God’s design and plan.
If same-sex marriage is legalized will it really effect you and me? Yes. We are seeing this already in Massachusetts, the first state to legalize same-sex marriage.
This clip shows how the public schools are teaching same-sex marriage as “normal and acceptable”. I just registered my daughter for Kindergarten in our town literally last week. It scares me to think she will be exposed to anti-biblical, morally bankrupt lifestyles as “normal and acceptable”.
From kindergarten to high school, our children will be exposed to “tolerance” and “equality” as a way to impose an unbiblical worldview into their developing value system.
Whenever you hear the counter argument stating that “studies show” same-sex marriages do not have a negative impact on a child’s development, be ready to think rationally and critically. Do your research to find what “studies” have been done. We all know statistics can be used in a bias manner to prove anything.
As Professor Don Browning of the University of Chicago recently wrote in the New York Times, “We know next to nothing” about the effects of same-sex parenting on children.” “The body of sociological knowledge about same-sex parenting,” he and his co-author wrote, “is scant at best. … There are no rigorous, large-scale studies on the effect of same-sex marriage on the couples’ children.”
With a sample size as limited and reclusive as practicing same-sex couples with children, even a non-scientific mind as myself sees a flaw in reporting any results as authoritative. Beware what the “studies show”, because the studies are extremely limited at best and conducted with bias at worst.
So lastly, what should Christians do and think about these issues in our day? It is good to remember that Jesus engaged His culture, not ignored it. We should take an active role as this is developing. We are blessed to be able to voice our opinions and vote accordingly. Start there. Also we need to think rightly about these issues. Here is a post a good friend of mine, Mark Moore, used to direct Christians to 5 good blog responses to the current debate. Read over these and know where you stand. There is some valuable wisdom written down here.
We know God is in control and trust Him through the thick and the thin. Be in prayer for our country and our leaders as we traverse difficult days. Teach the truth, even when it is not politically correct. 2 Tim 3:12-14 says, “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it.”
Let us continue in what we have learned, because we know where we have learned it, namely the Word of God.
Tuesdays. Trash day. The bane of cyclists. Every Tuesday I have to navigate a barrage of city trashcans that line the sidewalks as I ride my bike to work. I live just far enough away that riding to work saves me some money and gives me a bit of a workout (since I never find time for the gym). So last week, I was riding to work, dodging those trashcans like a downhill skier, when I approached an obstacle. Before me stood a large can (the kind with the wheels on it) with just enough room between it and the upcoming mailbox that I could slip through. I weaved in… just then my front tire slipped off the curb preventing me from weaving back over to avoid the mailbox. BAM. I rolled the bike over so I didn’t smash the mailbox (that would be a federal offense you know) or it smashes me (more likely). Stupid trashcans. Luckily, I was not hurt, except for my pride as I could imagine the snickers of gawking drivers passing by.
Avoiding the temptations of life can sometimes be just as tricky as my Tuesday morning trek. Thank the Lord that we have a map to follow. In the scriptures, we see plenty of things to help us as we face temptations everyday. As I read the Word, I continually see that the power against temptation is not in ourselves! Remember this! We cannot do it on our own!
The power against the temptations in this life is not in our strength, but in our submission.
1. Submit to God: We have all heard “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”. That is a false statement when standing alone! James 4:7 qualifies that statement with a power packed intro. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” In submitting our will to the will of the Father we find strength. Only then does the devil recognize he is outmatched and flee. Trusting in our own strength, the devil sees easy prey. First submit your life, dreams, hopes, desires, everything to God, and watch the devil flee in moments of temptation!
2. Submit to the Word: When Jesus entered into public ministry He began with the temptation in the wilderness. Matthew 4:1 says, “Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” In response to all the temptations He faced, what did He do? He quoted scripture! “But He answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (Matt 4:4) The Word of God is powerful for defeating the temptations in our lives. Jesus understood this and we need to follow His example. So take this practical step: Identify your areas of temptation and MEMORIZE several applicable verses to use in the moment of battle! Jesus didn’t whip out a scroll! He quoted from memory! Understand your limitations and submit to the power of scripture in your life.
3. Submit through Prayer: In an intense moment of Jesus life, the Garden of Gethsemane, He gave some advise to his closest friends who were there with him. “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mark 14:38) Unfortunately, these guys were weak. Jesus knew that through prayer we focus our lives on God’s will. In prayer, we connect to a strength not in ourselves. When you know temptation is coming saturate the situation in prayer. In the middle of temptation, prayer is a key to victory. Prayer does not change God, but it does change us. In your prayers, submit to His power in all situations.
4. Submit to Accountability: No one is perfect. We all fail. We fail more when we try to handle this life alone. God created us for community and created the church to be fulfillment of that need. James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” Our culture is one of isolation and loneliness. It tells us to hide our sin at all cost. The Bible tells believers to confess. In this confession we find brothers and sisters ready to support us in the healing process. We find freedom to allow the Gospel to penetrate to the deepest parts of us with its message of forgiveness and hope. With accountability we can tackle the struggles and temptations of this life and have a support system through it all. Do you have people with whom you can be real and honest? If not, find some. Submit your private life to those who will push you closer to Jesus.
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Keep fighting the good fight! Hang in there. Let me leave you with one last verse that has sustained me on many occasions. 1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” It’s a promise. Take it to the bank.
In a ministry culture revolving around fun and entertainment, sometimes student ministry forgets to talk seriously about serious matters.
Sin.
Youth workers, we need to be teaching the reality that sin will kill us. Romans 6:23 makes it plain enough. “The wages of sin is DEATH”. Does this generation really understand this? Or do they see us wink at sin and sweep it under the rug?
Teaching the truth of the Gospel means using real bullets in this fight! Bring the heat. We need to accurately convey the gravity of sin in our lives! Don’t let teenagers make it through your ministry never deeply thinking about sin in their own lives! And what should we be doing with this sin? Paul answers it very succinctly in Romans 8.
Don’t just skip down to verse 31 and following, subtitled “the Believers Triumph” without teaching what we are to be triumphing over. Verses 1-28 paint a graphic picture of killing sin before it kills you!
Never be scared to bring the heavy weights into a sermon with teenagers. They can grasp it. If they are doing calculus and microbiology at school we can get deeper in church too. Bring in John Owen. Talk about his book, “Mortification of Sin in Believers”. (Here is a good summary.) Teenagers will only glean from the depth of your own study. So study well.
Read and listen to this series by John Piper, How to Kill Sin. See how he exposits Romans 8 and gives a great understanding of John Owen. Use this stuff to teach the next generation the reality of sin and the holiness of God.
Teenagers, young adults, and everyone for that matter, need to be constantly reminded of the depths of our sin and conversely the power of the Gospel. Preach it to yourself daily; let that overflow in your ministry.
Tuesdays. Trash day. The bane of cyclists. Every Tuesday I have to navigate a barrage of city trashcans that line the sidewalks as I ride my bike to work. I live just far enough away that riding to work saves me some money and gives me a bit of a workout (since I never find time for the gym). So last week, I was riding to work, dodging those trashcans like a downhill skier, when I approached an obstacle. Before me stood a large can (the kind with the wheels on it) with just enough room between it and the upcoming mailbox that I could slip through. I weaved in… just then my front tire slipped off the curb preventing me from weaving back over to avoid the mailbox. BAM. I rolled the bike over so I didn’t smash the mailbox (that would be a federal offense you know) or it smashes me (more likely). Stupid trashcans. Luckily, I was not hurt, except for my pride as I could imagine the snickers of gawking drivers passing by.
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